But the Lord can use all things for His glory and you know what, He loves me enough to walk me through it :)
This summer, actually this year, has brought many changes, filled with emotion. We've brought our precious boys back to homeschooling; I've gone from working part time to full time; hubby has gone from working full time to being a full time student and super daddy at home (this actually started a year ago after being laid off); we've taken our "little side business" to a full time company with a vision; we made a hard, but right decision to follow the Lord's leading to a new church. But the biggest transition and change has been in my heart. He has shown me what my priorities are and what they need to be. I've asked in prayer that the Lord would purge from my heart what is not pleasing to Him. I've struggled greatly with contentment (I've written about that here before.) In my work, I come face to face with this struggle. This evening I shared with our boys this struggle I have. It was good to confess it. Another struggle He has revealed...fear. So many things I have done or not done have been in fear-fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of the unknown. Something I do not want to pass on to our boys.
I look back on my early days as a mama. I was home, we had a large home, my family nearby and all the amenities close by....and I didn't appreciate it in the least. Our move to the north has brought with it a lot of hard work and a lot of tears. But I'm humbled that the Lord saw (sees) fit to walk us through this because He loves us and knows what is best for us. Our marriage has grown, our parenting changed, our hearts changed, our walk with our Heavenly Father blessed beyond belief.
I said to my sweet ones tonight, if we had nothing, we're (I am) blessed because we have Jesus. We are rich beyond belief despite what we have in this life. We are in this world but not of it.
I don't know what the Lord has in store for us but I do know that it is good. And through all of these tears of letting go of my (sinful) will and submitting to His (by His grace only), there I (we) will find peace, joy and hope...it's not about me, but Him...
May we serve the Lord completely, knowing His plans are good.
Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him.
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. ~Luke 12:6-7