Monday, November 18, 2013

day 28 intentional - He is faithful


 Some days we're put together.  Some days we're not.  Some of those days we appear put together and that new friend says a simple hi and you fall to pieces.  Good times...

I'm a listener.  I believe the LORD has given me the gift of compassion.  My heart breaks for so many.  I'm a crier.  I'm emotional.  I want to see the best in people and I do see those things but sometimes, sometimes those people don't see that in themselves.  And sometimes, I want to see the best in people and it's not there...and I'm hurt and my pride rears its ugly head to cover my hurt.  Blah...
And sometimes (on the good side of this) there are words spoken that pierce the heart and that pride rears its ugly head again to defend and attack... but truth is spoken in tough love and when the heart softens growth happens.  But it hurts in those out of the comfort zone times.  It hurts to see through different clear eyes...through His eyes.  This is part of my testimony.  God used my husband early in our marriage (and ongoing-Amen to this!) to reveal truth to me, but for the first time I heard what was being said.  I saw what He saw.  I saw what was grieving my Father's heart (and my husband and family) and it broke my heart.  And I had a choice: to wallow in my pity party or with a humble heart, hear, learn and let God change my heart.  To God be the glory...He did (and does) it for my good.

Life is hard.  Life is good though...always.  In the midst of pain, sadness, joy, patience, it is all good.  We asked to be refined and we forget that refining process is fire melting metal.  Not a feather duster on fine china.  But you are more worthy than rubies, a beautiful precious stone.  God disciplines His children for their good and for His glory.  Not to hurt them.  To love them.  We discipline our children for running out into the road for their good, for we know what the consequences could be.  We don't give free liberties to young ones because we know it is our duty to protect them.  You don't give the recovering alcoholic a sip because we know what could come.  We are sinners (prayerfully you are saved by grace if reading this, if not please read here to know more and the hope of this world) that still struggle with the flesh.  The Apostle Paul says in Romans,

18 I know there is nothing good in my sinful nature. I want to do what is good, but I can’t. 19 I don’t do the good things I want to do. I keep on doing the evil things I don’t want to do. 20 I do what I don’t want to do. But I am not really the one who is doing it. It is sin living in me.
21 Here is the law I find working in me. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.22 Deep inside me I find joy in God’s law. 23 But I see another law working in the parts of my body. It fights against the law of my mind. It makes me a prisoner of the law of sin. That law controls the parts of my body.
24 What a terrible failure I am! Who will save me from this sin that brings death to my body?25 I give thanks to God. He will do it through Jesus Christ our Lord.
So in my mind I am a slave to God’s law. But in my sinful nature I am a slave to the law of sin.



We bow our heads to Christ.  I want what He wants.  And yet, I sin.  I fall into self reliance, worry, fear, doubt.  I try to fix or control things, when what I'm supposed to be doing is laying it at His feet, in constant prayer and trusting Him.  We are in this world but not of it.  The world has a "solution" box.  Pick and you shall receive (consequences aren't mentioned).  God has His Word.  Trust and you shall be comforted, cared for, loved by the Creator of the heavens and earth.  The One who knows how many hairs are on your heard.  The One who knit you in your mother's womb.  The One who knew you before the beginning of time.  Can you even fathom the depths of His love...it is more than I can even begin to grasp...and I am in awe.  How much I can resemble my four year old...we tell him no and he does it just a little bit more almost instantly.  And he knows the consequences but his sinful nature chooses his desires and not what is good.  Praise the LORD, He never tires of us.  My patience wears thin and His doesn't.

This post is a summary I suppose of what has been happening the past few weeks.  I can't help but gently smile, as the next day after writing my last post on contentment the LORD began testing me.  I'm not going to lie...my heart was broken and struggling for a couple weeks.  This gig called parenting...this is hard stuff.  Enough to take your breath away.  But what He keeps reminding me is:

1.  He loves these kids even more than I do
2.  He is faithful
3.  I can trust Him



I can breathe again.  I am blessed to be the wife of a man who loves our Heavenly Father.  A man who not only loves the LORD but loves our kids just as much as I do.  We let go and let God.  He is in all of the decisions, both big and small.  And even though something seems so small (or so big) to me, He's in control and me trying to control it is just going to botch it up. A work in progress here :)

Praising Him for His faithfulness :)

Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. John 17:17 ESV

Saturday, November 2, 2013

day 27 intentionally-content


I've said it before on here...my struggle with being content.  God has brought great change in my heart in this area but it is still a weak spot that, by His grace, I still continually have to work at.  I've just read this post and what a sweet and simple reminder...just be thankful.  I appreciate the honesty of her words.  Isn't that what we need to do, just be honest.  There is something about this blog world, where we read the words of someone unknown, see their lives, their homeschooling days, their lovely homes, their delicious foods or beautiful creations, their well organized days or fabulous family fun times...and we compare.  And we forget that this is just a glimpse of their day.  This is the part of the day that they want to write about.  And to be honest, this is the part of the day we want to read about.  We can learn from others.  Yes, it is okay to want to be a better wife, mom, friend, daughter.  To do a better job homeschooling or managing your home.  Isn't this why we read or go to conferences or listen to others. It is all in moderation.  That great blog is not your idol.  We take from it what we can.  But the first and final authority- Christ.  Our values, our identity, our goals are in and for Him.  As much as I would like to be like "her" or "her" I am who I am.  I am a daughter of the living God.  I am a sinner saved by grace. I am wife who adores her husband but lets him down sometimes.  I am a mama who loves her children with a full heart but sometimes would rather surf the internet than play a game with them.  I am a daughter with a mother who shows amazing unconditional loves and still sometimes I am inconsiderate and judgmental.  I am a friend who finds joy in serving but sometimes says hurtful things or forgets to follow through.  Keeping it real here...
But can I say this?  I am a girl who loves the Lord.  More importantly, I am a girl who is loved by the Lord.  I want more than what I am right now.  I want more of Him and less of me.  I want to be as close to a Proverbs 31 woman as Christ will have me be.  I want to be a mother who's not selfish with her time and lazy with her effort.  I want to be a daughter that Christ radiates through and His love is shown, not my sinful self.  I want to be a friend that considers my family first, prays first and can be counted on, even if it is an answer of no, because it is honest.
I want to do all of this for God's glory, not my own.



I want to be who He created me to be.  To be content in where He has me.  To hear His still, small voice when He speaks to me in the craziness of the day.  I want to seek Him first in every matter.  Trusting I can hear my Shepard's voice.  I want to be thankful in all things.

Isn't our God good.

Praying for your walk with Him.


having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, Ephesians 1:18 ESV


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